increasingly.

i've always loved bright colours but i can feel the world around me becoming grey.
i'm growing old and cynical. i no longer laugh like i used to. i worry more. i think more. i feel sore. i don't like this feeling growing inside me. why is it when A happens when B happens, but when it comes to me, B happens and A doesn't? It had to happen not once, not twice but too many times. I hate being cheated and stuck in the middle. I don't know how to get rid of this gnawing feeling and thought. It's unhealthy. I'm becoming bitter. I still want my bright colours.

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
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