thoughts on waking-up-at- 4pm-sundays
The hardest part in life is not to hold on but to let go of everything you held on so dearly. It is this constant need to drop down something you've owned for so long to achieve something else - Changes. Unless it's for something bigger and subjectively and relatively better, we wouldn't really embrace many unnecessary changes. Constancy gives us comfort. This unwavering unchanged situation gives us the feeling of security. The peace and serenity we get in while being embroiled in this crazy hectic race that propels you forward as you drift along in its merciless torrents of waves. Those who do not anticipate this madness, wilters.
With these changes, there comes choices. This constant cruel process of analyzing and deciding with family members and even with friends. Unfortunately, once you're at the end of the line, you're on your own. And when you choose to move on, there will be regrets. The mysterious choices whose outcomes would remain unknown forever. These unravelled paths could only be your regrets should you be less deserving of the consequences of your final choices.
I miss the past only because i know i have survived it and i reminisce the happy moments only because i want to get by the present but that doesn't mean my memories were all chirpy and smooth sailing and that doesn't mean my future is all stormy, gloomy and grey. It just means I'm confused. Maybe she's right, I may end up running for too long that there isn't much of myself left to make the final sprint to the finishing line.
Don't let this be the way I say goodbye.
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
15:36
The Greatest Supporting Friend a Girl can ever have - The Bra
It's just a sudden rush of thoughts as i listened to the radio this gloomy afternoon & they stuck on to my feeble mind as i looked into my drawer & that same someone in my thoughts once told me, "I always thought girls should have chests full of lingerie in all shapes, sizes and colours?" and promised that one day i will belong to that stereotypical view of his. Well, I think it did come true. I've enough to last me a month without doing laundry.
wished u knew lulu=eb but u won't see her.
Goodbye my friend, i've missed you.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won
So I took what's mine by eternal right
Took your soul out into the night
It may be over but it won't stop there
I am here for you if you'd only care
You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your head
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
I am a dreamer and when I wake
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take
And as you move on, remember me
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the father of your child
I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts but now we're fine
And I love you, I swear that's true
I cannot live without you
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
And I will bear my soul in time
When I'm kneeling at your feet
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
02:33
To Start
It is often the inertia one feels to start on a journey that takes the mental/physical toll on you rather than the journey itself.
To start overcoming & get my arse moving.
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
02:09
good food, dancilicious zouk and terrible tantrums.
PMS sometimes brings one down. I feel emotional whenever pms strikes. I'm a sensitive emo bitch. Things are as if they're on a rollercoaster ride but i realised sometimes i don't wanna be on this ride anymore. I used to enjoy it but now... it's too long for my fancy. Plus I feel irritated for my lack of will. Darn.*snots* Why can't I be the way I used to be? *ponders n pouts*
I'm a hopist. :)
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
00:43
Purple, Red & Gold
I've gotten a hair job. Decided not to wait and wait and wait for T&Gs. They have too many modeeeeelllsssss preettttiiiieeeerrrr than moi. Darn. Seriously seriously need to lose weight lah! I am now a whoooppping *3kg! DAMNit. Havent gotten any photos with my new hair. I think i still need some getting used to. Many guys think the brown hair should stick but girls fancy the change is nice. Hrm. What's done is done. Whoots. :))
Some photos i stole from lindddaaaa. Pardon me. It's a fetish of the moment to drag my letterssss.
Tadaaa.. always the narcissist.I want list:
1. more dresses
i've so many dresses suitable for cocktail events but i dont have cocktail events to go to but i have school so i need some casual ones.
2. jeans in many colours!
it is so tempting to buy more skinny jeans since F21 is really cheap but i am not gonna be wearing jeans so often once i start working. Now i have like 2 diesel, 4 levis, 1 crocker, 1 gap, 1 mango & 1 river island. Ain't alot to some of you but quite a bit for me.
3. shoes, comfortable working semi formal versatile shoes
walk walk walk.
4. good pretty leather wallet
my braun buffel is bruised.
5. lose the fats.
this is one hella tough job because i have had to be on weight gain program when i was young but i have never done tried losing weight before. Maybe the weight gain program worked too well. :S
I wished it was birthday all over again so that i can get presents!
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
20:42
Finding...
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time to clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh...
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction and I'm open to your suggestions
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
Oh...
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you'll help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
This song has been on replay since the last weekend. Music and lyrics.
There seems to be a song for everyone at every waking moment of our lives.
Even if it's just a silly little self-made tune you hum to yourself,
it's still your song of the moment.
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
02:29
Everyone loves LuLu
I miss lulu. :)) It's amazing how everyone in the family has learnt to love her (which isn't very difficult if u get to meet her). All that showering of love and care despite her smelly ways. HAHA! Well, she's only 5 weeks old afterall.
Sold these photos from my brother. According to him, she crouched and pounced onto his hand.
Growls. Can't wait for weekends to see my lil' baby girl.
Meanwhile, gotta get into the way of mugger life. Exams in 6 weeks' time but i still have so many tests and projects. Blah. Can't even go drinking enough.
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
00:17
I am lesbian
My new love is a bitch. :)) She's Ms Orh, LuLu. A black beauty with 4 brown paws and brown chest & cheeks. She's exotic ok? She's 3/4 schnauzer & 1/4 jack russell. ;) I love her to bits. I want my lover boy!
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
16:38
orange sky
Erm, when can my prefrontal cortex be well-developed?
Hands to self, lips to mouth, shut up, wake up and mug on.
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
03:03
Look See Look See.
Here are the photos.
Sentosa:
Welcome to Club 21 my dear ladies!
It was huizhi's 21st. She danced beautifully on her birthday! :)) Really mesmerized by the performances! Make me feel like putting on my dancing shoes!
Then it was my crushie, huiyi's turn. It was really cool because it was at the MINT Toy museum. :)
Check out the cool cupcakes! ;)
And then it was Aron's garden wedding. Twas' a joyous occasion! The kids were so cute! And yes it's another lovely event with delicate pretty cupcakes.
I am so disappointed in myself for not studying. Now everything is piling up. I should buck up before i get shipped out. Blah. Hate the thought of being so lazy. I have not done any readings since the start of school.
- PL3237
- GEK1006 textbook
- PL3232
- Experiment writeup
- MNO project
- MNO expt signup
- MNO teamwriteups
- MNO readings
Not mention there are the upcoming block comm stuff and dance. I wonder how to juggle next semester again. I miss Edinburgh. But i am glad to be home too. So many wonderful things here.
Well i haven't said this for a long long time but... We must have hope, my dear.
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
02:53
Smiles
& friendly facesIndulging in reverie
People watching
A good book
Escapades
Eating good food
Volleyball
Dolling up
My loved ones
lizards
frumpy people
liars
betrayals
xiuzhen
wingyee
key
jules
peapodcast
jasmine
danielle
alvin
shiping
melissa ng
thesartorialist
jacko bro
vincent
adeline
peline tan
ali
kenneth jnr
lindaaaa
stephanie lim
zhiyang
jolene
huixiang
sue ann hottie
evelyn sweets
kimmie
daniel twinnie
wanwen
amy
jabriel :)
kenny
peiling
seokhui
yingzhi
IMAGES - pixelgirl
HOST - lonelyME