Hardly breathing

I don't understand how can two persons be happy together when they know personally they have been cheating on each other but the other doesn't know?
Doesn't your guilt haunt you?
Wouldn't you want your relationship to be built on trust and intimacy?
Is it really a habit so difficult to break?

Someone once told me, it's the ability to withheld and keep secrets that would make a relationship work. I understand where that is coming from, and in many situations it may be right but just for me, myself, I'd beg to differ. I'm not being a saint and say no cheating, I'm just hoping for some honesty and remorse.

I don't understand many many things. The more i know, the more i don't know.
I just don't want to be in such situations, ever.

School keeps me so busy. I don't recall ever working so hard for a long long long time.
I'm not smart. I just keep myself afloat. One day, living each day just to be happy may be my downfall. Of course, let that never happen and let hope keep me alive. God bless. xx

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
18:02