Fear of loss.

Most of the time, i have very high hopes for myself, from others and of everything i've around me. Over my growing years, i've learnt to accept all the failures and savor in every little victories. Sometimes i grow so jaded of anticipations and expectations, i find myself unmotivated.

The one thing i've never learnt to embrace is loss. The thought of losing something and/or someone has always been a terrible fear. I've never had pets nor any relatives close to me passing on. I've been blessed and I'm sincerely thankful. I know that with the arrival of Lulu, it is just a ticking time bomb before she would leave us.

Everyone is a ticking time bomb, you never know when you would just fall; A mysterious land mine, you never know what accident would bring you away; A killer gas, you never know when you would suffer from a long torturous series of illness that robs you of every waking moment.

Death. The ultimate destination for everyone.
Because i do not know when i would die, i do not fear death.
Because i do not know when my loved ones would die, i fear death.
Please don't take anyone away, not yet.
There're too many promises unfulfilled yet.
Please.

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
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