So much angst.

Choices. I've written a post on this long time ago and until today, I still hate choices and crossroads and stuff like that.

Angsty today. Recalled all the bad bad stuff and all that pent up stuff = mega big blowup. Got reminded of my evolutionary psychology on Aggression.

Aggression is an evolved psychological mechanism where men tend to aggress physically and women aggress verbally. Since i'm a girl, i'm gonna talk about why it's a natural tendency for women to gossip more than men.

Evolutionarily speaking...

• Based on the theory of parental investment, women are needed to provide care for children thus they cannot risk to be injured seriously or even die from physical attacks.

• Women like to derogate other women in terms of physical appearances and sexual conduct. Weird as it may sound but it functions to improve one's standing as a choice for mating because physical appearance of a woman has always been a cue for health and fertility since ancestral times and this scale of attractiveness is absolutely subjective and relative (so don't worry) and that paternity certainty has always been a concern for men since they can never be sure a child is theirs until a DNA test is conducted and men would never really want to invest in a child who is not genetically his.

I know some of you are protesting already.

"But we don't gossip!"

"We are just telling the truth about the really ugly/slutty/fat girls."

"We're just exchanging information!"

However, lemme remind you that evolved psychological mechanisms are not decisions made by "free will". All cognitive progs are often mistake for “homunculi” which are entities endowed with “free will” when in fact they are just like computer programmes written to behave in a certain way given a certain input. So these protests that you have are the proximate causes for your behaviour. Although you think you never meant to derogate others intentionally just to improve one's standing, it is just the distal cause of your gossiping/comments/exchanging information.

Indeed, these evolutionary theories just leave you with the scary thought that men are pre-programmed and selected for by natural selection in the environment of evolved adaptedness.

Sigh. Feel alil' better now. Back to work. Hoped, hopes, hoping! :))

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
11:54