Tonight i made a discovery.
Before you read on, would like to warn you that this entry is completely incoherent thoughts at 4am in the mrning.
Some theories which have always been with me.
1. Rumours - people always choose to be on one side of the fence. Usually, the darker side. Why? Because rumours just ain't anything decent and juicy dirty news get stuck on you. And what's worst? More than half the time, they're all bullcrap.
Actually i'm glad i've this hair cut now because NOONE will mistake another promiscuous b*t*h as moi in a club. As I'd like to say... a hunter who hunts for thrills not a SCAVENGER who eats to survive.
2. Karma - Yup. What goes around does come around. I'm relatively happy with life now. Always having someone around to share. Everything balanced out in the end. I'm glad people get what they deserve. I just hope i get the last laugh. :)
And some random rants.
- I like to shop but i seldom shop nor do i spend much when i am in sgp unless it's on food. Basically i appreciate quality pdts and so i enjoy shopping but i don't actually shop. Afterall noone in my family prints money as my mummy always says. So does your family print money? Teehee.
- Sometimes it's good to have confidence in yourself. Well i am schizophrenic so i usually hover around the range of confidence & shit. Like i may have confidence at this point in time but somehow there are many periods in my life where i feel that nothing is right about me. I get very depressed when i have a zit or average grade or feel fat or even the sky is less blue than usual. There're the many I'm so stupid, fugly, "why am i alive" moments but these moments aren't really issues i tell everyone all the time. Of course some things i do know for sure that i shouldn't harp on for too longwhen i'm upset because i know i am good at it and so i'll just snap out, go ahead & believe in myself (after all that wallowing in self-pity haha).
- In my life, i always try to "just do it" and definitely there are times when this motto fails me. Since i still have the chance why not do it? Look what happens now. I'm sure the situation would be the same even if i didnt try because there's this psychotic OCD person pulling you back. See lah. Now gone for you too. And even my magazine is gone. shit. i want my girls back! My motto probably explains why i've a compression fractured spine now.
- I guess i am normal. I like to look back and see who someone ends up with after we stop hanging out. Most of the time, i feel good knowing the good standards. Somehow sometimes i'm appalled too then i feel sad about myself. Hrm. Times like this bring me to point 2 about self-ego.
- Honestly, i think everyone is nice. I treat everyone like they're nice people. So please stop suspecting. Being nice is reciprocal. So when you say/do something to someone, try to take a step back and think if you would want the same thing back at you (not saying i always do it but i am saying it to remind myself as well). Smiles are free, so are compliments. Remember!!! Oh and remember about my point about karma. :))
Shitte. I really need to get my hands on some mug-and-roll pills + the good ol' good-luck-for-examinations potion to get me through this. Woohoo! A week to go!
xoxo :))
and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
03:19
& friendly faces