Tonight i made a discovery.

• I like to shop but i seldom shop nor do i spend much when i am in sgp unless it's on food. Basically i appreciate quality pdts and so i enjoy shopping but i don't actually shop. Afterall noone in my family prints money as my mummy always says. So does your family print money? Teehee.

• Sometimes it's good to have confidence in yourself. Well i am schizophrenic so i usually hover around the range of confidence & shit. Like i may have confidence at this point in time but somehow there are many periods in my life where i feel that nothing is right about me. I get very depressed when i have a zit or average grade or feel fat or even the sky is less blue than usual. There're the many I'm so stupid, fugly, "why am i alive" moments but these moments aren't really issues i tell everyone all the time. Of course some things i do know for sure that i shouldn't harp on for too longwhen i'm upset because i know i am good at it and so i'll just snap out, go ahead & believe in myself (after all that wallowing in self-pity haha).

• In my life, i always try to "just do it" and definitely there are times when this motto fails me. Since i still have the chance why not do it? Look what happens now. I'm sure the situation would be the same even if i didnt try because there's this psychotic OCD person pulling you back. See lah. Now gone for you too. And even my magazine is gone. shit. i want my girls back! My motto probably explains why i've a compression fractured spine now.

• I guess i am normal. I like to look back and see who someone ends up with after we stop hanging out. Most of the time, i feel good knowing the good standards. Somehow sometimes i'm appalled too then i feel sad about myself. Hrm. Times like this bring me to point 2 about self-ego.

• Honestly, i think everyone is nice. I treat everyone like they're nice people. So please stop suspecting. Being nice is reciprocal. So when you say/do something to someone, try to take a step back and think if you would want the same thing back at you (not saying i always do it but i am saying it to remind myself as well). Smiles are free, so are compliments. Remember!!! Oh and remember about my point about karma. :))

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles

If all boys wrote poems...

The Quiet World
by Jeffrey MacDaniel

in an effort to get people to look
into each other's eyes more
the government has decided to allot
each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

when the phone rings, i put it
to my ear without saying hello.
in the restaurant i point
at chicken noodle soup.
i am adjusting well to the new way.

late at night, i call my long-distance lover
and proudly say: i only used fifty-nine today.
i saved the rest for you.

when she doesn't respond,
i know she's used up all her words,
so i slowly whisper i love you,
thirty-two and a third times.
after that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

:)

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
15:22

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Why i prefer to be at home?

Because i don't have to care how shitty i look and she's there, distracting, but great company. :)


What great coincidence! After a change in the arrangement of my furniture at home, my brother won first prize in 4d for his car plate numbers the next day. Not really alot of mula but it was good luck. Hrm, if only i have it during my exams next week.

Mentioned i had shopping trips for my wallet. Nope, havent gotten a new one. Not any time soon because i want the perfect one. Value for money too coz i aint a rich brat. So i visited the whole of DFS (thanks to my brothers for accompanying me) and also takashimaya & some of Paragon. Really don't like Prada bags. If only they had some trendy/youngish stuff not to mention cheap stuff? Haha! I'm fond of Celine but i can't take care of suede wallets, i'm sure.

Like most Singaporeans, I wait for sales. Why buy something now if you can get it cheaper by waiting. Besides, the wait makes the item more well-cherished.

This is really soft because it's lambskin but it means lotsa care. Really pretty, girlish wallet that few girls carry. Never hold sales = not many people have it = cool!

This is more chic but according to my brothers, it looks like those OG's Carlo Rino (whatever that is). However it's made of this new scratch proof leather which is good for girls like me. It's kinda like mini clutch too so i can bring it out for functions without a bag. Plus it's on sale during June which means i save money but it loses a bit of its prestige. (ps: i really love their flats though. hope peiling sees them in italy at low prices *reminder teehee thanks babe!*)

I'm inclined to buy ferragamo just because it's more versatile. What say you?

Do you know this is more expensive than most leather wallets? And it's not even their top range. Can you imagine? Okay i feel poor. It's close to SGD1000 and with SGD1.5K you'll get a top grade LV Suhali wallet which was what i wanted initially till i visited them and got to know the price and there wasn't any stock for the colour i wanted.

Probably gonna shop somemore after exams just to see if there's new wares. :) Maybe i should save it all up for a new camera and buy myself a stainless steel wallet or just envelopes. HA!

OR

And yup, i'm a fan of hers. ssswweet!

Wasted so much time on this entry.

Did i mention i need lotsa good luck for examinations this coming week? God bless us!

Mug on!!! :)) xoxo

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
16:33

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Exams are cancelled! Check your IVLE!

Woohoo! We wished!

With much comtemplation and draggy feet, we went zouk. What sinful indulgence at a time like this. We should all go out again after exams.

I need...

lotsa good luck

plenty of brains

huge amounts of energy and determination

plus that special pinch of miracle...

into my examination preparation potion.

Let's hope i'll get good karma for bringing everyone in. Make that 12 times of good karma from each goodlooker. Photos up when the babes upload 'em.

Let's keep our fingers crossed and let's hope. God bless us. Amen.

xoxo :)

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
14:35

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

To the books.

Love the drags. Had fun. Pity it wasn't a closed door event anymore. Would have been great if drinks were free flow like last yr where only the members and invitees were around.


Can't wait for holidays but i am feeling broke already. Think of all that travelling, shopping and eating. Darn. I need cash. Erm, i need lotsa good luck for now to my examinations though. xoxo :))

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
19:25

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Thrill Kills.

I'm not sure if you guys read Mark Haddon's Book on The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. Anyway it's about the world we see through the eyes of 15 yr old Autistic boy Christopher and how he learns more about his own world and tries to save himself.
And here's what he thinks of cars he sees...

3 red cars in a row mean that it is going to be a Quite Good Day. 4 red cars mean that it is going to be a Good Day. 5 red cars mean that it is going to be a Super Good Day. And 4 yellow cars in a row mean that it is going to be a Black Day, which is a day when I don't speak to anyone and don't eat my lunch and Take No Risks, because yellow is the colour of custard and double yellow lines and Yellow Fever which is a deadly disease.

I thought of this because i saw 3 red cars and 2 yellow cars (it was weird coincidence that they were the same models-suzuki swifts). And it was really quite a good day! :D why? Read on...

Watched The Other Boleyn Girl and it was absolutely captivating. All that temptations, power fight, lust and riches. Not to mention how much i love natalie portman. :)) And how i love English period movies, their costumes and scenaries. Must watch! Well, we could only get 3rd row seats and i really wanted to catch it so we did. Lucky us, there were 2 empty seats at the last row so we hijacked them. Woohoo! Great seats!

Then we went supper, had delicious frog porridge and sat there for the longest time ever. Just when we drove off, it started to pour super heavily. Lucky us again. :))

Ok so we decided to go for a joyride. With poor visibility and wet slippery roads, it was really safe to drive so we couldn't have our joyride. Fortunately it was not raining in kranji area. Had our fun at 190 and then decided to head home. The corner was not well made at 60 and the car skidded then spun. It came as a shock and I was just thinking what i can do to prevent any bad injuries, the spinning stopped. We were just glad that we are still alive & well. Ironically there was a signboard next to where we spun and it was from TP calling for witnesses for a serious accident 1 or 2 wks ago. Hrm. We counted our lucky stars! And the only damage was paint and the plate. Nothing on bodykit. And this was our final lucky strike.
Never speed ok? Get killed for thrills isn't wise. Lesson learnt!

I give my thanks. Amen.

Here are the photos for Aprilyn's wonderful 22nd.

I wrote this entry at 5pm on sat and completed it now which is 6am sunday. 17th anniversary of zouk tonight. I would just comment that it was quite an interesting night. :)) will post photos next time!

Good night world.. xoxo

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
16:35

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Would you please?

Would you please
let me slide a few words
under your door
And would you please
let me slide a few words
under your door

The first 3 say "I Love You"
The last 5 "But I can't no more"
I don't believe in miracles
Not like I did before

And would you please
Let me slide a few words
under your door
And would you please
try to understand

There's a paragraph or two
devoted to the memories that we shared
in the dramatized songs about how there'll be
no more memories
No more memories

And if you'll notice in the corner
there's a tiny little heart I've enclosed
Like a little surprise (Oh Yes I did)
And if you'll please ignore the smeared smudged writing
It came from the tears in my eyes

You're probably gonna get it
After a long day
You may not even believe it's true
I know you know, you know, you know my crazy ways

Yeah, but Sleeping Beauty is going to bed
She put a little tiny hole in her own head
Gotta find her own way home
Before she's dead

Yeah, but Sleeping Beauty is going to bed
She put a little tiny hole in her own head
Gotta find her own way home
Before she's dead

Woah Sleeping Beauty is going to bed
She put a little tiny hole in her own head
Gotta find her own way home
Before she's dead
Before she's dead
Before she's dead

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
22:22

a rainy day

the rain falls down on me today
the wind caresses my pretty face
and all i could do is to pray
and all i could do is to pray

the sun peeks out from the clouds
a rainbow flies across the sky
and all i could do is to smile
but i couldn't take my mind away from you

the wizard tries to save
the witches attempts to escape
my fairy tale has gone astray
and where is my home
oh where is my home.

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
17:36

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Quiet.

What a wasted day. It feels like the life i wanna have when i start working.
Got up at 4pm alone in my own apartment. Lulu wakes up to greet me as i dragged myself to wash up.
Sitting infront of the laptop with lulu lying on the chair beside me. Like me, she needs company. It's kinda mellow sometimes, to think about how she was taken away from her family to live with us. Maybe this is why she needs our company. But we all love her so.

WE

Her usual greedy for more look. Glutton!

Me, laptop, coffee and lulu. Perfect weather and rachael crooning softly in the background. :))

Sigh. I hate rushing.

Goodbye, don't cry, you know why. -R. Yamagata

Tired, so tired.

Of everyone and everything.

Too many closed doors.

Too many lies.

Been running and running,

till i tripped and not win.

Dizzy from the circles,

running all my life.

When will it be my turn?

To find an open door,

To anticipate and be gratified.

Maybe i should be learning not trying.

I don't expect anything, expect nothing, expect nothing at all.

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
16:32

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Eccentric

Hello world, I face the day with a new colour on my head and now the colour is violet red.


Ok it's supposed to be violet mahogany but i needed something that rhymes with head. Woohoo! No more ash ash baby. I hope this last a little longer than my pink crop. (photos next time)



I would really like to thank the people at toni & guys. All of you must visit them once in your life okay? Their service is really good. I'm so pleased. Tickles my fancy.
My good mood gave rise to my generousity and i treated him to dinner. It was good although the price could've brought us better food but it was nice. Can't wait for En's unagi rice & sashimi again! After having inagiku's swordfish (it's at fairmont if u wanna try), I really liked it. Unlike salmon, the meat is slightly chewy and its sweetness leaves a tad tinge of saltiness on your tastebuds after you i gobbled it down. Thanks to my brudder i've got to have good sashimi although urchin is really bleagh+expensive. So now whenever i eat sashimi, salmon isn't my only favorite. :))


Oh and just to jot this down as an interesting encounter to keep in my memories, I made a new friend on the bus today. An indian girl sat beside me on the bus today and asked...

"Do you take marketing?"

"Eh, ya." (Mental thought: Ask me for notes? Ask me about lecture? I blocked her during class? She caught me talking?")

"Oh i'm taking it too. I recognise you from your hair. It's a very interesting colour! Not many people have it. I like it! What colour is it?"

"Oh ash pink" (sigh of relief it's nothing that bad.)

"My friend and I noticed your hair. It's very nice."

"Erm, thank you...blah blah blah" (pleased with myself although i was on my way to have a new colour)

It's nothing much. It's just something very peculiar that happened today. I shall take it as a compliment. Darn, i should have kept my colour and parade in it around school long enough and maybe i would have set a new trend for hair colours. According to the latest redken/loreal show, this season's trend is to have hair in striking bold colours. I say! :) I'm ahead of them. Teehee. Next up, must be violet/red/pink range. HAHA! Instead of natelie portman in "closer", now i'm closer to katie holmes (pun intended). She looks good in this. I like! If only i had her face. :S

Ok back to reports.

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
23:48

Budapest

Junior's going europe. Makes me miss country hoppin. Decided to talk about the less frequent countries like hungary. Budapest was beautiful, relatively cheap (cpr to london, france, italy) and young. :) We shopped, partied, ate quite well and enjoyed the scenaries. I remembered we kept paying for the subway tixz and everyone doesn't. Thus...one night when we were running out of forints, we decided to try taking the tpt free.
Super "suay" can?!!??! There were conductors at 11pm!!!
We decided to try pushing our luck by taking another ride down the line and come back to our station again to see if the conductors left. At 11.30pm, THEY STILL DIDN'T LEAVE! (--> This reminded me of the bus conductors in athens who went up the bus when it was already after 12mn. I was amazed that they work OTs. Well we paid for the trip so we needn't worry.) In the end, we had to go back to the control station to buy tickets. Oh well, better luck next time.

Okay I shall make descriptions short by giving a caption with (max) 10 words to each memorable photograph. Not many because i am simply too lazy.

A statue at the Budapest castle in the evening sun.

Her beautiful garden.

Statue in the middle of town representing victory(i think.)

A little treat for our tired feet.

Blooms in the city!!

Erm, i'll put up more another time. Gotta get back to my report. I wanna travel more! I want more mula!! :))

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
00:48

Monday, April 7, 2008

of car rides and Snow Patrol and Peter Pan wannabes.

Looked back at my own blog but sad to say it's no longer around. :S There goes my memories. I've got poor memories and now I can't remember the details.

Borrowed some cds from my brudder.
Some people are shower singers. Me? I love singing in the car. And i love car rides in the night anywhere and any speed with the radio on along the deserted roads filled with warm lights peeking through the trees lining the expressways.
I used to sing this song. We used to sing this song. I still love this song.

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wish I had not said
Are played in loops til it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
And not our last days of silent screaming blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should've stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back don't think just do
More than anything I want to see you girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Had french food at serene centre. It's rather delicious for the price. :) Pear sake & apple pie are nice at island creamery. So far they're the nicest i've had there. I had a great studying session at btc. The walk through botanic gardens was my first time and made me miss edinburgh so much. Babes we should go back again!! :D

Someone's mother mentioned this recently and i felt kinda sad how life is for most people.

"It doesn't matter if you don't marry the love of your life. As long as you've really loved someone so much before and experienced the extremes that love could bring, let that be enough.

Marry the one whom you think can provide the best for you and your children and will be a good father/mother/husband/wife and let that be enough."

Oh how lucky are those who married out of passion and not just commitment nor lust.

Well, I still have my shot at it! :)

I have so much i want to do during the holidays but it's either difficult to attain or expensive to endeavour or events that would depend too much on luck. Hrm. We'll see.

School's coming to an end. Got a test tomorrow but i am so sick of studying. Sigh, everyone's moving out. Who's gonna be my neighbours?! :S I'll miss everyone. Especially times with the awesome4somes. So many memories, sigh. Everything seems so surreal. I wished i could live those times through again... do i?

So many stories i've heard of ambitious people achieving or pursuing their dreams. Somehow they made me feel that I'm moving towards my goals too slowly. I wanna be my PTT!!!

Okay, so much random rumblings. Suddenly I am so old yet my mentality is still so juvenile. Gosh. I need to grow up but i don't want to.

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
21:13

Friday, April 4, 2008

Glittering Clouds.

Yay! I'm decent for that monday's test. Now i've another one next tuesday. Yes, the tuesday test. Meanwhile it was quite an interesting night at zouk. I had to rush 80% of my report out before i went down at 1am. I think my pink crown is quite a glory in the photos ain't it? I like. :)

Say Goodnight and Go

Skipping beats, blushing cheeks I am struggling
Daydreaming, bed scenes in the corner cafe
And then i'm left in bits recovering tectonic tremblings
You get me every time

Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

Follow you home, you've got your headphones on and you're dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot you're taking everything off
Watch the curtains wide open
Then you fall in the same routine
flicking through the TV relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone...

Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

One of these days, you'll miss your train and come stay with me
(Its always say goodnight and go)
We'll have drinks and talk about things,
any excuse to stay awake with you
You'll sleep here, i'll sleep there,
but then the heating may be down again at my convenience
We'd be good, we'd be great together.

Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go,

Why's it always always
Goodnight and go
Darling not again
Goodnight and go

~*~*~*~

For all the wonderful parents we have in the world.

Miraculous love. Leaves me with the warm fuzzy feeling of luuurrrvvveee...!

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
12:58

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Frontin'

I'm so thrown off by the amount of effort needed for my 2 reports which would determine my grades. And i am too afraid to check my grades for that Monday test. :S

Here's the long due BKK photos from Jules.

Well, according to nat, there are some crazy ass ta-glam photos so i've filtered them out (hopefully up to nat's standards) and posted the decent ones up. Honestly, out of the 60 photos taken at the club, about half are either blur or without focus (eg: body parts, clothes, hair not our high pretty faces). Erm, when you're having fun, photo taking becomes fun in a weird way. ;)

So we were supposed to go in pairs...

But only 3's not tad bad a crowd.

All we did was eat,

seafood every day.

Tucked in lotsa desserts too. (in)Famous quote, "I'm so full you'll hafta shove food up my ass to make me eat..."



I love the hotel's fried rice.

Besides food, there's the relaxation part of our trip we enjoyed most -massages everyday

Then we're off to have fun! So glad we had a local friend to bring us around. Twas great!

Before.

After.

And er, Toni & Guy show.

I wished i could ripped off everyone's itunes! I love the tracks from imogen heap, rachael yamagata, placebo, etc.

Now i understand how he felt listening to all these lovely tracks, a little late.

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
17:40

Counting on

Kisses Given

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Read the symptoms. Be my antidote.

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Hugs & Kisses
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durians
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No Present without the Past

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CODES - tere
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HOST - lonelyME