sorry.

I'm not sure if it's the aftermath of nights of drinking but the songs resonating through my ears proved to be heart wrenching.

you must have felt a million times worse.

in the arms of another, happy without you
sharing the secret places where we used to wander
baring the familiar sweetness of the loving heart
sitting in the same seat barely cold from my departure
and occupying that space in your heart, displacing my sight from yours.

you were right, there could be noone else treating me the way that you do.
I may not be the most pampering person yet the most spoilt person you might have met but there can never be another me letting you love the way you did because she just ain't me.

But it's not about who's here and who's not, it's about how happy you want to be.

I'm taking my time. I enjoy just watching and knowing, no more hunting.
There's this incoherent image of a girl twirling in a field of lavender bathed in golden rays of sunshine dressed in long flowing silk dress, twirling and smiling, like no other one matters. soon, you no longer matter.

empty, it's like something left my life completely
silent, it's like something muted my life suddenly
chance, it's like you were given to me relentlessly
risks, it's like you were given to me mindlessly

through a gallery of portraits, i tread gingerly
round the corner, across the hall, there i saw
this familiar frame with golden rims
hanging on the polished marble walls
but there was noone, noone in there
the canvas was tattered and torn,
shreded into pieces and pieces of shreds
brad, ian, shean, rick, i couldn't remember
for a brief moment i stood in awe
the musical notes float aimlessly around
matchbox 20 or blink 182
and maybe soul patrol
a gentle brush of the black cat's tail on my feet
what's this frail creature i ponder
puffs of white smoke whiffed by
pizzas and pastas and the roasted chicken
but all i could was to rub my little tummy
with a surprising jolt, i woke from my fantasy
there's noone there,
noone i could remember anymore than a picture in the mind gallery.

and so she ponders, wishes & scribbles
17:29